Tit 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
In the tiny book of Titus, I discovered that I am to hold my future husband first in my heart after God. That's the clear implication of God's instruction to the older women in the church who are to teach the younger women how to be women after God's heart. The first thing married women are to learn and practice is to love their husbands.
God loves you and me unconditionally regardless of our shortcomings, and certainly all wives are to love their husbands with that kind of unconditional love. But when God instructs us to "love" our husband in Titus 2:4, the word is phileo, meaning friendship love, a love that cherishes, enjoys, and likes our husband! We are to value him and build a friendship with him. We should see our husband as our best friend and want to be with him more than any other person.
How can a wife nurture a heart of love, a heart prepared to support her husband in practical ways "until death do us part"?
Decide to make your husband your number one human relationship. Our relationship with our husband is meant to be more important than the relationships we enjoy with our parents, friends, a good neighbor, a brother or sister, a best friend, and even our children, and the way we use our time should reflect that rank ordering!
After all, God said that we are to "leave and cleave", to leave our parents and cleave to our mate (Genesis 2:24). When parents are involved in a child's marriage, when God's commands are not obeyed and His priorities for relationships are not observed, problems arise.
A short advice to all wives before I continue. Always let your husbands know what you are doing; never do something behind his back. Always involve your husband in your thoughts when you want to do something, it doesn’t mean you are unable to do anything alone, but it means respect to your Husband and makes him know he is so important to you that is why you love and gladly like to share with him everything you do. Because the moment you both got married you are not two anymore but one. Everything you do is sharing for each other’s Amen!
To make your husband number one will take some work as you deal with drop-in parents, learn not to plan things with either set of parents (or anyone else, for that matter) without asking Mr. Number One first, and handle expectations (Of course, you'll be spending Christmas with us?...Or coming over every Sunday?....Or calling every day?). Your husband has to be Number One, and know it. And everyone else needs to know it, too.
Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships. Again, this includes your children.
I know too many men who, when their children came, turned down a lonesome road. And when you've gone too long single file, its hard coming back to double. So much has happened alone it just seems easier to say, "It's too late now".
You're wise to keep checking priorities. You can be both mother and wife. But the wise woman remembers she will begin and end as a wife.
As I said at the beginning, we should see our husband as our best friend and we should work on building a friendship with him. That work takes planning, but the rewards are definitely worth the effort as they flow out of a heart that loves. Why not pause and pray for your husband, your number one friend, right now? Thank God for the love for your husband He has placed in your heart and ask for His help in sharing it with your husband. After you say "Amen", plan to do something special for your husband today that sends a message of friendship from your heart to his.
