Developing the Art of Listening

If relationships with others mean a lot to you (but sometimes they seem to elude you), you'll find this helpful: becoming a beautiful listener.

When someone speaks to you, stop and listen — really listen. This little habit will make our all-too-short lives far richer.

The reason people talk to other people isn't always just to communicate data. It is also to communicate emotion, illicit empathy, and to receive those much needed, "Wows!" When I let my ego drive the conversation, it defeats the purpose of communication — and deflates the person speaking to me.

It's not about you. This conversation is about the other person. Allow her to be in the driver's seat. Don't look rushed. Turn your body in that person's direction and add a smile to your face (unless it's really sad news at which time a more somber look might be appropriate). Maintain good eye contact (this brings to mind the old proverb, "The eyes are the windows to the soul"). Nod your head affirming that your heart is really hearing what the other person is saying.

Become a public relations expert for the teller. In most cases it's wisest not to repeat the other person's story unless you have a clear sense that it would honor him. Instead, bring the person over to another cluster of friends, and say, "You've got to hear Jeff's story!" Jeff will beam. Others will be enlightened. And you will be Jeff 's hero.

Despite what I said above, it is sort of about you. If you become nothing more than a "gimmick listener" you'll only harm yourself and be the worse for it. You will find yourself listening, but not listening. You'll simply be gaming the other person like an animal does its quarry. Become an emotional participant. Learn to live the experiences you listen to vicariously. Learn to, "laugh with those who laugh and cry with those who cry" (Romans 12: 15). Then, my friend, you will be a part of the family of humanity.

Love and blessings to all

Prophetic Voice Ministry Renjith & Jessie